We see the movie, but it shouldn’t be obvious, from
the panel frame, it shouldn’t be obvious that it’s a movie at first. The frame
is of a “handsome,” athletic mid-40s woman in an evening gown, hair worn
properly up, probably with a bit a jewelery, clinging (precarilously) to the
side of a dark structure with one hand, holding some sort of nasty looking
automatic rifle in the other. A timid middle-aged looking man in a tux is next
to her, holding on for dear life. The SFX comes from the bottom of the panel.
Something about the lettering might suggest it’s not really part of the scene.
I dunno. You’re the artist.
Close up on the woman aiming her gun directly into
the screen, slightly to the left. She’s holding the gun one-handed (impossible,
I know, but do this in homage of all the action heros who do six impossible
things before nightcaps). She look determinedly steady. SFX should indicate
that the phone is being answered mid panel. The voice should come from below
the panel.
Craig and Brian cross focused on their pre-bumping
knees, wondering if one will actually make contact with the other.
Larger view of the audience, including couple making
out on the right side of the row behind Brian and Craig. Brian and Craig are in
the lower left hand corner (maybe only from neck up). Craig glances at Brian
wistfully, Brian focusing on the screen, a tad uncomfy. Frat looking-boy
talking on phone immediately behind them, his annoyed-lloking little sister
next to him. If they fit, slip in some teens drinking out of a bottle in a
paper bag?
View of the screen, with Jennifer – decked in a
riding suit, hair coming a tad undone -- punching a femme-y blond girl in a
formal gown. We should see the sihlouette of the frat boy talking on the phone
in front of the screen, lower right.
Craig looks slightly surprised, looking toward
screen,while Brian’s giving a sly half grin, also looking forward, almost
winking to the reader. Their knees have bumped (complete with bump-indicating
motion lines?).
The boys are shyly smiling at each other. You can see
the lower halves of people moving around behind them, commenting on the film.
The frat boy’s sister is on the phone.
They reach a momentary freeze point. They both look
suddenly anxious at their inabilityto get past “hi.”
Craig decides to speak up, motioning toward the
destinationless “drink.” Brian looks even more surprised and speechless now
that an actual offer is being put on the table: he’s gesturing mindlessly, not
realizing he’s indicating the screen without meaning to.
Craig gives a sweet grin, trying to to be charming.
Brian is visibly suckered in, grining and blushing.
Page 3
Full page shot, Craig and Brian still sitting in their
seats, offering each other their hands to shake. A straggling couple leaving
the theatre and ushers coming in.
Cr 1: I’m Craig.
Br 1: Brian.
Page 4
They’re outside the theatre, a few minutes later on
this page, trying to decide where to go. They’re back in Chelsea, a
neighborhood neither of them knows very well or comes to very often. A long top
panel over three tall, thin vertical panels.
Panel 1
They’re outside on the sidewalk, Brian with his hands
in his pockets, kinda in awe this is even happening, kinda quietly delighted.
Craig, not completely aware of Brian’s interest, is trying desperately to come
up with SOME place to go. Brian is slouching a bit, hands in his pockets. Craig
is gesturing around him, sorta cluelessly. Trying to look upbeat, but he feels
like the weight of the situation is now on him, so he’s eager to come up with a
good plan on the spot.
Cr 1: I mean, I don’t come out here
very much…
Br 1: Not a Chelsea queen?
Cr 2: Oh man, no way!
Panel 2
Craig stops, shocked that he said that, looks out
from panel at Brian.
Cr 1: I mean… I’m… gay…
Cr 2: and all that…
Panel 3
Brian, smiling, in spite of himself, being
mock-standoffish.
Br 1: You’re going to try to
recruit me, aren’t you?
Panel 4
Striking a mock Mormon-missionary-at-your-door pose.
Cr 1: I just want to share all the good things
homosexuality is doing in my life.
Page 5
They go into X-it, a bar in Chelsea that’s a tad to
fab for either of them, but they’re making the best of a bad idea… Three tiers.
The first tier has two panels, though the first doesn’t need to be large.
Inside, there’s quite a crowd, weird lights, shadows, queens in tight jeans,
posuers of every stripe, and, of course, a glitter-covered shirtless bartender.
The other two should be 1 panel each. The total effect, though, should be very
un-QaF: crowded, small, noisy, painfully vapid. Our boys are cramped and
uncomfortable. Maybe enhance the crowding efffect by lowering the top panel
border closer to their heads and pushing them to one side of the panel or the
other.
Panel 1
Craig’s opening the door of X-it, gesturing for Brian
to go in. They have to past the door boy, a prissy-looking muscle queen. Sound
waves, notes, etc. are coming out of the door.
SFX 1: (club music from out of the door) When you look
at me, tell me what do you see?
Cr 1: My roommate made me come here once…
Panel 2
They’re wading toward the bar itself. The crowd near
the door should look a little too energetic. Too happy, etc.
SFX 1: (club music) … what you get, it’s the way I am.
Br 1: That’s quite a
recommendation.
Cr 1: It’s supposedly the bar if you like
appletinis.
Br 2: Then I understand your
reticence.
Vc: Unh! Sooo Y2K!
Panel 3
Brian sees a table off panel and points, tugging on
Craig’s arm. Craig gestures to the bar. People are milling around them, waving,
rolling eyes, getting hyper, etc. Someone’s doing cocaine out of the hollow of
a friend’s hand while the friend tries to look nonchalant. They’re already
trying to project over the music to talk. A younger man is obviously yelling at
an older man who looks at him dismissively.
SFX 1: (club music) I know you want to touch me, here,
there…
Br 1: Oh, I see a table.
Cr 1: It’s an act of God, I’ll get
the drinks.
Vc: You cheating… stupid…
slut!
Panel 4
They’re separated by a group of NYU boys, barely
legal, slipping through, giggling. They’re having to raise their voices to
speak. Two muscle boys in A&F shirts are being introduced by an older
third, though they’ve apparently already met. They’re shaking hands. The one
who isn’t speaking is blushing.
SFX 1: (club music) Say I’m gonna be a bad girl again.
Br 1: What do they have on tap?
Cr 1: Uhm, probably Coors…
Cr 2: Coors Light…
Vc: Oh trust me… I know
Randy!
Panel 5
Further apart now, they’re having to almost yell.
Brian’s kinda wincing at the thought of bad beer. Craig’s sympathizing, giving
him a thumb’s up that he got the beer order. An late 40s man in clothes 15
years too young s is talking animatedly.
SFX 1: (club music) Why don’t you come on over?
Br 1: Ah… uh… surpise me.
Cr 1: Gotcha!
Vc: I was out on the
Island…
Page 6
This page gets them from sitting at the table, unable
to hear each other to Craig inviting Brian back to his place. Four panels, two
tiers. Bacckgrounds on all panels should be pretty busy. “Vc” indicates someone
in the background talking. Somewhere in this page, someone should be doing
blow.
Panel 1
Close up on Craig and Brian settling down onto a
small table, Craig handing Brian a beer. The music has gotten louder and less
lyrical. Craig is raising his voice to talk, smiling to indicate he’s making a
joke. Brian is straining to hear. He looks sorta confused. An early 30s
professional (great body, unnattractive scowl) is scolding a younger companion
who has a decidedly under age/rent-boy look.
Cr: So just
what is a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?
SFX: (the club “music”) Thunk
Thunk Thunk Thunk Thunk
Vc: Bitch! If you spill my drink…
Panel 2
Focus on Brian, who toward at Craig blankly. He
obviously didn’t hear the joke at all. Maybe he’s gesturing to his ear or
something he might do to indicate he can’t hear. Voice 2 should be sincerely
appalled. Two slightly overweight boys in tight club-gear are bemoaning the
fate of the frozen cosmo machine. The one isn’t speaking looks like he lost his
best friend.
Br: Sorry, uhm…
What?
SFX: (music) BWAAAAAAAH BWAAAAAH
Vc 1: The frozen cosmo machine is broken!
Panel 3
Focus on Craig, who looks shyly bemused that he can’t
speak. He’s undecided what to do now. The bar thing was obviously a bad idea.
He’s got an idea he’s toying with, but he’s got a slight shy grin, undecided
about whether or not to spit it out. The voice belongs to a girl gossiping with
a gay boy.
Cr: I… uh… I said… uhh…
SFX: Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah
Vc 1: Oh my god!
Panel 4
Closer up on Craig, leaning in, half shyly, half
conspiratorially toward Brian. Using a barely audible tone (given the context).
Brian is grinning. Some frail looking early 20s boy-thing is going on about how
he told off someone. His boy and girl friends are loving it.
Cr: I… uh… said
that… I… got some Guiness at home…
Br: Toss in
better music and you got a deal.
SFX: Thunk Thunk Thunk
Vc: Blow him? I
wouldn’t piss on his senior-citizen ass if…
Page 7
We jump from the bar to the indoor stairs of Craig’s
building. This page gets them into the building and to the door. Four panels,
two tiers. Do the math. Last panel should have an inset close-up on Craig.
Panel 1
Rounding Craig’s landing, entering his hallway. They
are talking casually, obviously relieved to be out of the bar. They’ve only
walked about 5-10 minutes. If we can see the floor, we see a small mouse
scampering along the baseboard. Craig’s fishing in his pocket for the keys.
Br 1: Wow, West Village
Cr 1: Yeah. This is my room. Hers is that
door. Kitchen and bath in the middle.
Br 2: It’s nice.
Cr 2: Yeah, I got lucky.
Panel 2
They stop near Craig’s door (G-3). Both look
sheepishly tripped up (and slightly amused) by Craig’s choice of words. Both
blush a tad. Craig’s fumbling with his keys.
Cr 1: I… uh… mean… my roommate…
Br 1: Got lucky with your roommate?
Panel 3
Craig is slightly annoyed but mostly amused. View
from inside the apartment as Craig opens the door for Brian. It’s fairly dark
inside, but you can see them in the light from the hallway. Craig is smirking.
Cr 1: No… smartass… She inherited
the rent control from her dad.
Br 1: You did get lucky.
Panel 4
Craig is turning on a light, the door still open.
Brian is setting his bag down by a chair near the door. Craig is looking down
in surprise.
SFX: (switch) Click
Br 1: But don’t fill me in on the sordid
boy-on-girl…
Cr 1: (raised voice) Dammit!
Panel 4 Inset
Close-up on Craig’s face looking slightly down. He
looks… agitated.
Cr 1: Mouse!!!
Page 8
This page is zany. Make it zany. That’s all I ask.
We’ll discuss it. Waving brooms
and overturned coffee tables should be involved. The mouse should find
its way out the door by second-to-last panel. I’m thinking 3 tiers, around 7
panels.
Panel 1
Full tier. From a PoV near the darting mouse. The
mouse should be darting just below the right side of the frame as we look up on
Brian and Craig. Brian has jumped into the chair and is half kneeling in it,
his unbutch side staerting to come through. Craig looks like he’s about to go
on the attack – think Howard Dean the night after Iowa. He’s pointing, about to
pounce. Reaching for whatever’s handy.
Br 1: Where??
Cr 1: There!!!
Panels 2-4
These threee panels are the mouse chasing sequence.
The first two should have Craig chasing the mouse with a broom or something
like that (what might be near the door? An umbrella? An encyclopedia?). The
last should have Craig chasing the mouse on a clear path to a door Brian is
hiding behind. Craig would scream “Get it!” “Yeeeeaaagh!” etc. in the first two
panels and “Open the door!” in the final. Or something like that. Brian just
makes scared noises. During the chaos, we should get some indication that the
table or shelf holding Brian’s number has been upset, which won’t become
important until later.
Panel 5
Third tier, two panels. Craig has slammed the door.
Brian is half cowering where he’d been hiding behind the door. Craig is raising
his fist at the mouse on the other side.
Cr 1: And stay out!
Panel 6
They’re sitting against the door, looking exhausted.
Brian’s mouth is agape. Whatever Craig was swinging with is lying deserted.
Cr 1: So make yourself at home.
Br 1: You’re this much fun every
night?
Page 9
Seven panels. Three tiers. Two on top, three in
middle, two on bottom.
Panel 1
Closer up on their faces, still seated against the
door.
Cr 1: So why don’t I get us those
beers.
Br 1: Yeah…
Panel 2
Close on Brian, still sitting by the door.
Br 1: I guess my butch image is shot.
Cr 1: (off panel) Nah!
Panel 3
Same as 2, but Craig leans in from the upper left.
Brian rolling his eyes.
Cr 1: But I can make appletinis if
you prefer.
Panel 4
Same as 2, Craig is off panel again. Brian is looking
in his direction, making a sarcastic face.
Br 1: No , really… I’m laughing on
the inside.
Cr 1: (off panel) Awww… I’ll let
you pick the first CD.
Panel 5
Brian has seen a CD he wants and has it in hand as he
pops open the CD player. CDs and the stereo are on a bookshelf near the front
door.
Br 1: Can I put on Ryan Adams?
Cr 1: (off panel) Yeah…
Panel 6
Same scene, Brian is holding up the CD that was in
the player like it’s a dead bug?
Br 1: Christina?
Cr 1: (off panel) That’s my
roommate’s.
Panel 7
Brian has slipped a CD into the player, and pciked
his song, the music is starting. Craig is coming up, holding two beers.
SFX: (music lyrics) Black birds,
slow and softly…
Br 1: That voice makes my palms
sweat.
Cr 1: Your butch side is showing.
Page 10
Three tiers. Six panels. Even?
Panel 1
Brian sits on the floor, looking through the titles
on the CD shelf. Craig rests on his arm behind him, sipping his bee, grinning
coyly.
Br 1: So who else are you stashing in here?
Cr 1: I dunno, who else are you
trying to sleep with?
Panel 2
Close on Brian blushing, chewing his lip a little,
grinning a little. Holds his beer like he’s about to take a sip. They’re
obviously near the foot of the bed. This should set us up for how close the bed
is to the stereo (or later!).
Br 1: Just who are you trying to sleep with?
Br 2: I mean, rockstar wise…
Panel 3
Craig, leans back on both elbows, looks playfully
pensive.
Cr 1: Oh man… I dunno…
Cr 2: But you… uh… kinda have that
Ryan Adams look about you.
Panel 4
Craig still leaning on his elbows, Brian lies down on
his side near him, resting on his arm. They’re not touching, but they’re at
“point of no return” distance.
Br 1: Awwww!
Cr 1: Mr. Silver-Tongue, ain’t I?
Panel 5
They’re leaning their heads a little closer together,
Brian looking conspiratorial this time.
Br 1: So?
Cr 1: Yeah?
Panel 6
Close on Brian, smiling coyly.
Br 1: You have to do one rocker chick. Who would it be?
Page 11
Three tiers. Five panels. Two 2x2 tiers, third tier
with one panel. Their beers should dwindle throughout the scene.
Panel 1
Same shot as Page 10, Panel 5. Craig is pulling back,
chuckling. Brian grinning widely.
Cr 1: You have a one-track mind.
Br 1: So answer the question…
Panel 2
Craig lying back on the floor, looking thoughtful.
Cr 1: I dunno… Liz Phair.
Cr 2: You?
Panel 3
Brian with one figner pointed up as if he’d just
proven a ajor point in a debate.
Br 1: Only one rocker girl is butch
enough for me.
Br 2: Amy Ray
Panel 4
They’re both lying down now, right next to each othe,
not quite tocuhing. Obviously enjoying the conversation.
Cr 1: The Indigo Girl?
Br 1: Or Lucinda
Williams…
Panel 5
Craig is jumping up, almost off panel. Brian sitting
up, looking slightly bewildered/bemused/possibly dizzy. The look on his face
should give us the first clue that the beer may have gone down too quick.
Cr 1: Now Lucinda, I got.
Br 1: Oh?
Br 1: Whoa
Page 12
Six, count em, six panels, in a 3 tier x 2 panel
structure. Lovely, no?
Panel 1
Craig is standing at the stereo contendedly… possibly
even slyly? Brian, having walked up behind him looks appreciative.
Cr 1: This is my favorite…
SFX: (Song) I envy the wind, that
whispers in your ear.
Panel 2
Brian smiles, sitting back (on the bed!!!) starting
to look a little droopy eyed. Craig is climbing on next to him.
Br 1: I had to take a shower the first time I heard this
album.
Cr 1: Oh, totally.
SFX: (Music) Moves through your
hair, cracks your lips…
Panel 3
The two lean back on the bed and smile at each other.
Arms/shoulders brush.
Br 1: So?
SFX: (music) I envy the rain, that falls on your face.
Panel 4
They lean in a little closer. Brian’s hand on Craig’s
chest, Craig’s hand on top of it.
Cr 1: So?
SFX: (music) Soaks through your shirt…
Panel 5
Close up on Brian, looking droopy, happy, tired.
Lying his cheek on the bedspread.
Br 1: Gonna kiss me?
SFX: (music) Rolls down your back
Panel 6
They’re a fraction of an inch from kissing, Craig
over Brian.
Cr 1: What makes you think I’d do
that?
Page 13
Five panels over three tiers. Top tier is dominant,
1x1. Bottom two tiers are 2x2.
Panel 1
They kiss. Big. Craig over Brian. Nothing too
obscene, though, but maybe a little tummy touching under the shirts or
something else coy but suggestive.
Panel 2
Craig leans back, smiling, Brian looking a little
breath-taken.
Cr 1: Wow?
Br 1: Wow.
Panel 3
Close on Brian, obviously deliriously tired, but very
happy. Eyes closed.
Br 1: (soft) Wow.
Panel 4
Craig gives Brian a slightly concerned look. Brian
smiles, eyes half open.
Cr 1: You okay?
Br 1: Yeah… Just drank that beer a
little fast.
Panel 5
Craig is slipping off of the bed.
Cr 1: Yeah… mine’s slipping through
me a little quickly… Be right back.
Br 1: Oh, I’ll be here.
Page 14
Interplay of Craig in the bathroom getting ready, and
Brian getting groggy. One tier. Three vertical stretch panels, no necessarily
symetrical.
Panel 1
Front view of Craig taking a whiz (waist up, you
perv!). Smiling, thinking to himself.
Cr 1: (very quietly singing to
himself) I’m about to sleep with Bri-i-i-an!
Cr 2: (more singing)
Bri-i-i-i-i-an!
Panel 2
Brian, lying back on the bed, smiling, looking very
droopy.
Br 1: (thinks) He is so…
snuggle-able.
Panel 3
Craig, checking himself out in the mirror, while
gargling.
Cr 1: (continuing the singing in
his head) Making sweet, sweet… whooopeee…
Cr 2: (ditto) with Bri-i-i-an!
SFX: (from Craig) Gaaaagle
Gaaahgle
Page 15
Continues into a three tier layout. Five panels. Top
tier is half page/1 panel, bottom two are quarters. Second and third have two.
Panel 1
Craig looks at a spot on his forehead in a near
panic.
Cr 1: (thinks) Oh crap! That… that cannot…
Cr 2: (thinks) It cannot be a zit
Panel 2
Close on Brian, fighting to keep his eyes open, lying
on the bed.
Br 1: (thinks) So snuggle…
Br 2: (ditto) Snuggle-able…
Panel 3
Craig walking back into the bedroom.
Cr 1: So… where were we?
Panel 4
Close on Brian asleep on top of the covers, Craig’s
hand on his shoulder.
Cr 1: (off panel) Brian?
Panel 5
Craig sitting on the edge of the bed, Brian barely
visible in frame, looking disappointed and a tad befuddled
Cr 1: (soft) Uhm… Well…
Page 16
Full shot of Craig and Brian, mostly clothed (you
might have Craig strip down to boxers), snuggled up on bed. It should be
obvious that Brian has, even asleep, pulled and held Craig’s arm around him.
Craig should still be awake, but semii comfortable, though still disappointed.
Cr 1: This works too. I
guess.
posted by RR at 9:25 AM
