Two Shy Guys, Chapter 4: Saturday Morning After
Brian waking up slowly, over three panels.
Top tier is
a 1/3 page. Bottom tier takes up the rest. Top has three panels. Bottom
has
two. Count 'em yourself. Okay, okay. . . it's 5 total.
Panels 1-3
First panel is an out of focus version of
the third. Insert
a plain black panel in the center. Them a clear version of Brian's POV,
opening
his eyes and seeing the sunlight in the window, and the digital alarm
clock in
front of the window, which says 8:45.
Panel 4
Tight close on Brian. His eyes shut,
looking
contented.
Br 1:
Mmm.
. . Sleep for another hour, then I'll call Bev and tell her I finally
met. . .
Panel 5
His top eye pops open. He looks concerned.
Br 1:
Uh.
. . Where am I?
I'm thinking four panels. Let's see how that
works.
Shall we?
Panel 1
Brian's turning onto his back, rousing
Craig (who
looks pretty groggy), whose arm is still around Brian's stomach.
Br 1: Oh shit! I fell asleep.
Cr 1:
Yeah,
and I didn't even take advantage of you. . .
Panel 2
Craig and Brian sitting up in bed. Craig's
arm around
Brian's shoulder. Brian looks embarassed, Craig bemused.
Br 1: I am so, so sorry.
Cr 1:
That
I didn't take advantage of you?
Panel 3
Brian, still a little embarassed, nuzzles
up to Craig's
chest. Craig, smiling, scratches his head.
Br 1: No!I wanted to be awake for that part.
Panel 4
Craig has pushed Brian back a little and
brings his own
head close to Brian's. Craig looks playful. Brian smiles. They're
obviously
about to kiss.
Cr 1:
Good
thing I waited.
The make out scene. Uber hot. This is the
only real
makeout scene they get, so it needs to be intense. All the suggested
makeout
scenes at the end need to bring readers mentally back to this one. Four
horizontal 1-tier panels, not necessarily cleanly symmetrical.
Panel 1
Craig kisses Brian. . . Assertively. There
should be
certain amount of pent up energy on both their parts. Brian is starting
to paw
at the bottom of Craig's teeshirt.
Panel 2
Brian's is kissing Craig intently back,
they're both
trying to get Brian's shirt off.
Panel 3
Brian, his shirt hanging on one arm, has
now flipped
Craig (we might even show an idication of the motion having just
happened).
Brian is using one hand for balance and one hand is starting to push
Craig's
shirt off of Craig's stomach. He's nipping at Craig's neck as Craig
looks in
surprise toward the door. Frank's voice comes from off panel.
Fr 1:
(off
panel, too loud for this early) Craig! Craig! Please be home!
Cr 1: (low) Frank?
SFX:
(Frank
knocking) Knock Knock Knock
Panel 4
Much the same as panel 3, but they are now
both
looking intently at the door.
Fr 1:
(off
panel) Oh god, Craig! This is a brunch emergency!
SFX:
Knock
Br 1:
How
do you have a brunch emergency. . .
Cr 1:
Before
10 AM?
Let's try this with four panels, traditional
2x2
layout.
Panel 1
Outside POV. Craig is opening the door, not
looking
terribly cheerful, as Frank is pushing through. Brian gets dressed in
the background.
Cr 1:
Morning,
Frank.
Fr 1:
Thank
god you didn't go off with some trick. You won't believe what that
little tart
did this time!
Panel 2
Frank, momentarily, stops up short,
shamefaced. Brian's
got his shirt pretty much back on (he's still pulling the shirt down
with his
left hand as he offers Frank his right hand). He's resolved to the sex
not
happening, so he's smiling politely.
Fr 1:
I'm
so sorry. . . I'm Frank.
Br 1: Brian.
Panel 3
They shake, Frank still looking embarassed.
Brian
still looking polite. Craig looking undecided. . .
Fr 1:
I'm
sorry, I can come back. . .
Br 1:
No!
I was just about to head home.
Panel 4
Craig suddenly realizes he needs to say
something.
Brian is still smiling politely. Frank is trying to make a hasty
retreat.
Cr 1: Uhm. . . Brian. . .
Br 1:
It's
okay!
Fr 1:
I'll
just. . . uh. . . wait next door.
Brian and Craig exchange information. 2x2
layout.
Panel 1
Frank is out. Craig looks embarassed now.
Brian is
still looking polite, his hand on Craig's shoulder.
Cr 1:
I'm
so sorry. . .
Br 1:
It's
really okay.
Panel 2
Craig is trying not to look desperate. He's
holding
Brian's hand while glancing around for a piece of paper. He's got a pen
in one
hand.
Cr 1:
Can
I give you my number?
Br 1:
Ah.
. . Yeah!
Panel 3
Craig's sitting on the bed, writing on a
scrap. Brian
next to him, nuzzling his shoulder.
Cr 1: Use it?
Br 1:
Of
course.
Panel 4
Placing it in Brian's hand, Craig is
relaxing a
little, a slight smile. Brian is about to give Craig a kiss on the
cheek.
Cr 1: Promise?
Br 1:
You
bet.
Exit Brian. Another 2x2. Three panels on a
single top
tier, with one large on the second tier.
Panel 1
They are still sitting on the bed, Craig
looks almost
pitiful speaking to Brian. Brian's leaning in for a real kiss.
Fr 1:
(off
panel) Uhm. . . Craig. . .
Cr 1:
(to
Brian) Sorry.
Br 1:
Less
apology, more lip.
Panel 2
Another quick kiss.
Fr 1: Craig?
Panel 3
At the door, Brian is grabbing his bag
while he moves
to give Craig a final peck on the cheek. Craig is calling across the
hall.
Br 1: I'll call you.
Cr 1:
Comin',
Frank!
Panel 4
Brian walking down the street, obviously a
little
baffled. He's punching in Bev's number on his cell.
Br 1:
Well.
. . Hmm. . .
Brian's called Bev for advice. Three tiers,
three
horizontal panels. First panel has inset
Panel 1 Inset
Beverly's hand, holding a cell or small
wireless phone.
It should be clear that whoever is holding the phone is not taking
anything
more than a cursory glance at the caller ID.
SFX: Beeeep Beep Bee. . .
Panel 1
Bev, propped up on the bed, wrapped only in
a sheet,
Dianne curled contentedly to her left side, perhaps a cat on the bed
with them.
Her other hand holds a nail file she'd obviously been using.
Bv 1: Hello, Brian. How can Princess Mama
assist you on this fine Saturday
morning?
Bv 2: Why yes, yes I did. Twice.
Panel 2
Bev, in same position, but cupping the
phone against
her ear as she returns to filing her nails. Dianne next to her now has
he eyes
open -- and rolled.
Bv 1:
Oh
this sounds like a brunch problem.
Di 1:
(low)
sigh. . .
Panel 3
Same, but she's more intentlly looking at
one hand.
Dianne's now sitting on the end of the bed, slipping on a t-shirt (with
an
embroidered flower on it, of course).
Bv 1:
Alright,
as soon as I have my ritual post-coital bath, exfoliate, moisturize. . .
Bv 2:
Don't
be a bitch, I'll be ready by 11.
Craig and Frank at brunch. 2x2 layout. The
menu
indicates that the place is called "Euclid's." it should look like the
Film Center Cafˇ, but it's in the Village. Waitress is Wt.
Panel 1
Craig and Frank sitting down to brunch,
waitress is
walking away. The crowd should be quiet, but busy with their papers and
books.
Most folks eating here this early are alone.
Fr 1:
I
am sooo sorry about this morning.
Cr 1:
Oh
stop worrying about it. . .
Fr 1:
So
who was this young. . .
Panel 2
Waitress has walked up.
Wt 1: Mimosas?
Fr 1:
Oh
god, yes. Two.
Fr 2:
Craig
what are you having?
Cr 1:
Just
coffee.
Panel 3
Waitress gone, they return to talking.
Cr 1: So what
did Eduardo
do this time?
Fr
1: Oh! What didn't that little fuck do this
time? I've
had it.
Panel 4
Frank is almost done draining the first of
the two
mimosas in front of him.
Cr 1: So he left
the cap
off the toothpaste again?
Fr 1:
Don't be
spiteful Craig. . . You know how wound up I am.
Beverly and Dianne are sitting down to
brunch with
Brian at the Indigo Cafˇ. 2x2 layout.
Panel 1
Beverly, having worked herself up a royal
appetite,
is studying the menu imperially. Brian is fidgety, his self doubt has
already
set in.
Di 1: So you
finally met
him? That's good!
Br
1: Yeah.
. . but now I don't know.
Panel 2
Beverly, having decided, is signaling to
the
waitress. Brian rests his chin in his hand, his elbow on the table, his
menu
unexamined.
Bv 1:
Is
our boy not up to my baby's standards?
Br 1:
Oh
he's great!
Br 2:
He
just wants me to call him.
Panel 3
Beverly and Dianne roll their eyes at each
other.
Brian looks frustrated at their dismissal.
Panel 4
Brian shrugs. Bev holds her coffee up to
take a sip
as Dianne stirs hers.
Br 1:
What?
Bv 1:
See
hon, most men have these things called testicles.
Di 1:
You
might want to check and make sure yours are there.
Back to Frank and Craig. Another 2x2.
Panel 1
Frank is in deep consternation, his lower
face buried
in his hands. His half of the table has a healf-eaten breakfast and
several
empty mimose glasses. Craig is clearly not buying it. He's still
working on his
pancakes.
Cr 1:
So
he's leaving the country without you?
Fr 1:
Yes!
Panel 2
Frank covers his eyes with one hand,
gesturing with
the other. Craig is clearly trying to make a point for an umpteenth
time, while
staying calm enough to sip coffee.
Cr 1:
On
a business trip.
Fr 1:
You're
missing the point!
Cr 1:
And
the point is?
Panel 3
Frank gestures broadly with both hands.
Craig is
trying not to roll his eyes, while popping a piece of sausage in his
mouth.
Fr 1:
He's
an immigrant, darling. What if they don't let him back in?
Cr 1:
Frank.
. .
Panel 4
Frank, his hands clenched, has one hand on
his
forehead now. Craig is looking at him meaningfully, while pointing at
him with
his fork, ab out to finish off the last of the pancakes.
Cr 1:
Ed's
from Puerto Rico.
Fr 1:
You
always take his side!
Back to Bev, Dianne, and Brian. 2x2.
Panel 1
They have food now, but Beverly is back to
gesturing
for the waitress.
Bv 1:
Asleep?
I'm going to need a Bloody Mary for this one. . .
Br 1:
I
just don't understand why he didn't just wake me up?
Panel 2
Closer up on Brian, pining out loud into
his coffee.
Br 1: Maybe I totally blew it?
Br 2:
Maybe
he didn't think I was worth the trouble?
Br 3:
Maybe.
. .
Panel 3
Widen out to include Dianne, obviously
exasperated.
Di 1: Maybe he wanted your scrappy, neurotic
ass for
something more than a one-night stand?!
Panel 4
Back to panel 1 frame. Bev's buried her
face in her
hands. Dianne is turning to get the waitress. Brian looks despondent.
Br 1: So he wasn't attracted to
me at all!
Di 1:
Make
that two Bloody Marys.
Split page. Brian and Beverly are going to
their
respective works, talking about articles they're going to write. Craig
is going
to his office. Continue four panel, 2x2 layout.
Panel 1
Bev is standing up from the table, holding
the bill.
Dianne is gathering up her purse. Brian is looking a little more
together.
Bv 1:
I'm
getting this, but you're my bitch for the rest of the afternoon.
Br 1:
When
you have no social life, it never hurts to work weekends?
Panel 2
Frank and Craig are figuring out how much
they owe.
Neither look up from counting the cash out.
Fr 1: So the moral is no more relationships.
Fr 2: Are you going to give that furry young
man a call?
Cr 1:
He
uh. . . He doesn't know I have his number.
Cr 2:
Don't
ask.
Panel 3
Bev is escorting Brian to their office. He
grimaces
at the thought of working with her all day. Dianne is waving goodbye.
Di 1:
I'll
see you two later. . .
Bv 1:
Come
on, babe, it'll be just like college paper all over again.
Br 1:
Our
college paper didn't review live sex shows.
Panel 4
Craig is waving to Frank.
Fr 1:
Don't
you ever take weekends off?
Cr 2:
If
I can't have sex, I might as well write about it.
On their ways home, Dianne and Frank pass. I
swear, no
more four panel, 2x2 layouts for several pages! After this one.
Panel 1
Frank is walking along back to the building.
Di 1: (off panel) Well, hello Frank!
Panel 2
Frank and Dianne give each other a brief,
simple hug.
Fr 1:
Oh
hello, dear, coming home from brunch?
Di 1:
Yes,
with one of Beverly's college friends.
Panel 3
Standing and chatting pleasantly. Dianne is
patting
is hand in feigned sympathy.
Fr 1:
Oh,
I just had brunch with a young neighbor of mine.
Di 1:
Oh,
I know how that is. . .
Panel 4
They start to move past each other toward
their own
buildings, waving goodbye.
Di 1:
The
young and their dramas!
Fr 1:
Don't
I know it! See you Monday!
